I hate it when insomnia and writer's block collide. It is such a waste of time staying awake the whole night and not write anything. So this is Christmas and what have I done? Well, like any other people who have been in the misery business for quite sometime, I have nothing to look forward to on the 25th. Those who know how I feel would probably think that everything does not seem right, so why bother to celebrate. It does not feel like Christmas.
I wonder what happened to good old caroling? Why does it suddenly become a noon-time show dance contest propped with Santa Playboy Bunny costumes and puntuated with "AW!"? Well, I blame it to Joey de Leon and the Sex Bomb Dancers. Easy on the Spaghetti kids.
But 'tis is the season to be jolly falalalalalalala and ignoring the merry holidays is such a sin to the sosyal humanity, so I just look for the meaning of Christmas in the traditional way through Simbang Gabi. I thought I would not be able to complete it, but surprise, surprise, I completed it and it complete me. Was that Jerry Maguire talking? Anyway, attending the mass was like an R&R for the spirit. It is like a spa that soothes all your pain and washes away all the negative emo inside your mind. It also allows you to let go of the things that you can't control and let God take care of it. Every gospel doesn't only tell a story but it shares wisdom as well. It really prepares yourself for the coming of Christmas. Nowadays, people forget to put Christ on Christmas and oftentimes they are blinded by the "poshest" things that they should receive on Christmas Day. But Christ was not posh, he was poor. And that is what Simbang Gabi is all about, it teaches you to be humble, simple and grateful. I should do this every year. I must and I will, because life is full of complicated things like mathematics and a yearly soulvation is good for my sanity.
WHEN WILL I SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN?
Someone caught my eye and here I am all alone asking, "When will see your face again?" Oh here I go again. I don't know him personally. All I know is that he's a teacher, he leads a group in Church and he runs his errands like he's bound to priesthood. I'm going to slap my face right now because this is not happening. Baka dala lang ito ng antok. No, don't ever think about it. It's going to take a miracle to find that kind of inspiration.
Don't play with FIREcrackers this new year, I still need you guys to drop me a comment in this blog. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
The Advent of Doom
I know you miss me. It's already the Advent season but I feel like it's Lent. Yeah, yeah I know I'm such a Grinch, but this is how I feel (much to the glee of my evil costumed frenemies). I would appreciate it more if happier people would stop texting me "Kmusta K N?," or sending me generic happy quotes FOR IT JUST ADD UP TO THE PRESSURE OF BEING HAPPY. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE ALWAYS TELL YOU WHAT YOU SHOULD DO WITH YOUR LIFE, WHEN THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THEIR OWN. I would rather drink the tea of empathy than the soda of sympathy, because empathy taste like sympathy, only SWEETER. This is wrong, I don't deserve this.
I'm just glad that there are people like Anne, Andy and Vera who help me get through this mad season. Don't you think it's so unfair why independent people don't get what they want? All I want for Christmas is sshhh, I can't even get it. How will I celebrate Christmas? Here are some of the ways...
1. Sleep all day and ask my mom to wake me up when 2007 ends.
2. Lock myself in my room and listen to full blast rock music while indulging in sinful carbs. This is totally anger and glutonny marathon. I wonder if there will be lust involve. Kidding.
3. Have a Goth party in a cemetery with my weird friends while reading sad poetry and connecting with the dead.
4. Clean the house until became unrecognizable.
5. Check myself in rehab, splurge in retail therapy, or attend a seminar on why some people have useless anxieties like..."Why Can't he love me?"
6. Spent a whole day in a secret laboratory and let my evil genius create a cure for men who are afraid of commitment. Do want to join me Anne?
7. Be a Martha Stewart for a day and try not to mess up the kitchen.
I'm gonna get through this. I must. My momma told me not to dwell in a crisis. I must fight it. I just need some alone time, free from useless text messages.
They say that there are twelve days of Christmas, but I only have seven days to love.
I'm just glad that there are people like Anne, Andy and Vera who help me get through this mad season. Don't you think it's so unfair why independent people don't get what they want? All I want for Christmas is sshhh, I can't even get it. How will I celebrate Christmas? Here are some of the ways...
1. Sleep all day and ask my mom to wake me up when 2007 ends.
2. Lock myself in my room and listen to full blast rock music while indulging in sinful carbs. This is totally anger and glutonny marathon. I wonder if there will be lust involve. Kidding.
3. Have a Goth party in a cemetery with my weird friends while reading sad poetry and connecting with the dead.
4. Clean the house until became unrecognizable.
5. Check myself in rehab, splurge in retail therapy, or attend a seminar on why some people have useless anxieties like..."Why Can't he love me?"
6. Spent a whole day in a secret laboratory and let my evil genius create a cure for men who are afraid of commitment. Do want to join me Anne?
7. Be a Martha Stewart for a day and try not to mess up the kitchen.
I'm gonna get through this. I must. My momma told me not to dwell in a crisis. I must fight it. I just need some alone time, free from useless text messages.
They say that there are twelve days of Christmas, but I only have seven days to love.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
I did my part, now do yours.
I know there are some people who wait for my new blog entry. All I can say is that with this experience, I learned who my REAL FRIENDS are, who are my BFFs and my FRENEMIES. I did this to myself. If you believe in what I believe, then you should not hide in silence. Be brave, have some balls. Sana hindi lang kayo matapang sa harapan ko. I thank those who speak up and those who did not leave my side. I did my part, now do yours.
My job here is done.
And oh, by the way. I read that blog post a couple of days ago. It kinda pissed me off. Well it is just a two cents worth of hubris.
OVER-SLEEPING IS SLOTH. OVER=EATING IS GLUTTONY. OVER-WORKING...ERR...OVER-WHORING ONESELF IS SLUTTONY.
And I almost forgot, FYI I did not do that ATE account. That is the worst complement I ever heard. Duh, I am not that cheap. I am good on satire not on slapstick.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Friends or Enemies: The Takes Over the Breaks over
September 20, 2007
Aries: You will have to make a decision that you have been delaying. You should try to exercise a little more self-control. There is no time to waste and you must conserve your energies. Be tolerant.
If you think this blog is about the thing that's in your head right now, no it's not about the frenemy. Friendster are only for friends right? You see, I'm sort of into a "gag order" these days. You know, the thing that they have in court where parties are not allowed to release further details about the case. So for now, I'll keep mum about it. All I can say is that I'm brutally honest with everything that I have written and I don't regret any of it. Well, except for the grammatical errors.
Friends or enemies, that's the Fall Out Boy Concert tonight in Araneta. How I wish I could get my payback err...backpay in advance. If only I could have that cash in my hands right now, I would definitely rush to the nearest ticketnet office and buy those tickets. But too bad, tickets were already sold out. Sana pala sumulat na lang ako sa Wish Ko Lang para makanood ng concert, kung ginawa ko siguro yun, may kasama pang backstage pass at baka nahingi ko pa ang eyeliner pencil ni Pete Wentz.
Right now, I'm actually feeling like Rico Blanco for leaving my friends behind. ITO BA AY PAALAM NA? Yes, I'm leaving para magkaroon ng BAGONG LIWANAG, kaya magpa-audition na kayo ng bagong vocalist at wag ninyong i-disband ang grupo. Dapat yung maraming amats parang si Rico Blanco at Bamboo.
As early as now, I would like to thank a number of people who have been supportive of my decision. This is my liner notes:
To Ms. Vera Corporal, thank you for being my confidante. Maybe someday we could visit the land of St. Patrick and Bono to watch a live performance of The Corrs, but before that happens, I must have a passport first. Thank you for everything.
To my Almalyn Almighty, thank you for all the concern Sis. Please take care of Vera.
To my tough powerpuff girl Sae, you are such a Buttercup. I will surely miss you. To Joy Mendoza, if Sae is my Buttercup, then you are my Bubbles. I will miss your smile and sweetness.
To Marianne, thank you for all the support. To my Rochelli, thank you for all the smart conversations pauwi.
To my pareng Den, please take care of Dah. To Dah, please take care of Den. Please take care of each other because your relationship is meant to last. Thank you for the friendship.
To Doris, my first friend in the office, thank you for your understanding, support and care. I will miss you a lot.
To Ms. Mary Anne Mallari. You're the Bamboo to my Rico Blanco. Thank you for calling me up and being by my side even if you're that far. I really appreciate it Pare. You can always count on me, whenever you need me.
If I forgot to mention anyone, please don't be sad for I will make another entry for you. For now, Thnks Fr Th Mmrs.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Playing Favorites
During my senior year in college, we had this "Who are your three favorite women?" activity for our Paulthenics class. I remember that I included my mother, Nicole Kidman and Celine Lopez as my three favorite women. At that time, I wanted to add more my list. Since the task required me to write only three, I had no choice but to follow the instruction. For now, I will be presenting to you my list of favorite women (my mom is exempted from this list for she deserves an exclusive blog entry). If you'll take a quick look at this post, you will see that all of them are celebrities, and you will wonder why the heck I didn’t include the likes of Condoleezza Rice. Well, I admire powerful women in politics. I just don't like to talk about them because they are not easy to relate with. Anyway, here are my favorite women...
J.Lo - I'm not a big fan of her marriages, her acting and most of all her big ASSests, but I must admit that I should give Mrs. Mark Anthony some credits for her businesses. Jenny from the Block knows where to invest her earnings. I mean she has a clothing line, a perfume line, a restaurant etc. With all of these business ventures, Jennifer Lopez has created her name into a brand. That's really an achievement, and it only proves that her brain is bigger than her butt.
Kate Moss - Shaunistas would say that if you want to leave a legacy in the world of fashion, set a "craze" that everyone would follow. Twiggy popularized the MOD fashion in the Swinging 60s (a.k.a. The British Invasion because of The Beatles fever), Gemma Ward became the "It" girl of today's modeling because of her babydoll/alien look, and Kate Moss set the Heroin Chic trend in the Grunge 90s. Cocaine Kate is the shortest supermodel. She only stands 5'6", but she is considered an icon of style because her look is different from the voluptuous supermodels that reigned before her era. Her waif figure, dark-circled eyes, and prominent bone structures landed her a job with the world's top fashion houses. Although she is criticized for glamorizing eating disorders and drug addiction (issues that described her look and eventually caused her temporary career downfalls), Kate Moss just posed for the cameras and walked the runways of success like a real pro. It's true that Kate Moss shouldn't be emulate because of her rock-and-roll lifestyle, but for people like Lindsay Lohan, Moss is not just a supermodel but a role model. Yes, Thin Queen is worshipped by the Teen Queen. Now you know why La Lohan is such a wild child, maybe she got that "troubled" look from her idol. Anyway setting all her bad rep aside, Kate Moss is still my favorite supermodel for she is the ultimate definition of "thin is in!". Yeah! I'm thin and I'm in!
Ellen Degeneres - She is the sexiest lesbian alive! Don't you just love her? Ellen Degeneres is the coolest gay on television. She's smart, she's funny, and she's stylish. Portia De Rossi must be one lucky girl. This People's Choice award-winning host achieved a huge following by lending her voice in Disney's Finding Nemo. I have been watching her talk show since it aired on 2nd Avenue and I must admit that my day is not complete without watching her show. The monologues, the dance, the gifts and the guests are just few of the things that I look forward to in her show. And oh, I almost forgot, I look forward to her outfits as well. I know that the clothes make the man, but Ellen is one hot woman who can pull a man's clothes off. Her androgynous sense of style is so trendy. So if ever you’ll see me wearing a preppy top with a punky necktie, that get-up is inspired by Ellen. Yeah, by Ellen. It only looks like an Avril-Lavigne-on-a-prolonged-puberty because I'm the one who's wearing it, but if a cropped-haired girl will sport that outfit, you will know that it's an Ellen original.
Bea Alonzo - This girl has been portraying mature roles since the day she turned 15. Known as John Lloyd Cruz's on-screen better half, Bea Alonzo is regarded by the local entertainment as the best actress of her generation. I'm not really a big fan of teleseryes but this girl's acting prowess blows me away. She knows how to give justice to every role that she plays. Undoubtedly, all the filmmakers that she has worked with were impressed by her performances. This 19 year old doesn't only know how to be in character, but she can also add character to clothes as well. A former image model of Karimadon, Beautiful Bea is now the new poster girl of Kashieca, replacing the gorgeous Georgina Wilson.
Celine Lopez - You will recognize her as one of Tim Yap's supporters in Celebrity Duets. This Guimaras heiress is currently the face of Plains and Prints and she has also done ad campaigns for Pepsi and Bench. Popularly known as the social butterfly of Manila's party scene, Celine Lopez also writes a popular column in The Philippine Star. I have been reading her columns since my college days in St. Paul. I remember hanging out in the library and reading the lifestyle sections of The Star so I wouldn't miss any of her write-ups (in case Pop forgot to buy TPS.) A lot of people would say that "I'm-a-writer-wannabe-who-also-wants-to-be-a-clone-of-Zafra," but actually I'm more influenced by Celine Lopez. Well, Jessica Zafra is Jessica Zafra, everybody knows that she's an institution in Philippine journalism, but I was really hooked by C.Lo's writings. Celine Lopez's delilahs and purgatories bewitched me, and for that, I revered her as my favorite writer.
Tina Fey - Behind those serious nerdy glasses is a Greek chic with a fantastic sense of humor. Tina Fey is a Saturday Night Live alumna who now stars with Alec Baldwin in the hit sitcom 30 Rock. I miss her weekend update in SNL and I know a lot of viewers will not forget the episode when she called Paris Hilton - Such Lovely Unique Talent. That stands for S.L.U.T. Anyway, she also wrote the screenplay of the dark teenage comedy Mean Girls, where she stars alongside Lindsay Lohan and Rachel McAdams.
Elyse Sewell - She is known as the "edgy pre-med student" of the cycle one of America's Next Top Model. She's my bet in the competition, because she's intelligent and straightforward (unlike the other girls who deal with too much drama). Although she did not win the modeling contract with Revlon, Elyse Sewell became the most successful ANTM contestant. Currently a top model in Hong Kong, Elyse Sewell has also done high fashion and commercial modeling gigs in Europe. In 2006, she published her first book entitled Beauty and The Biz: The International Adventures of America's Third-to-Next Top Model based on her popular LiveJournal weblog. I've read in her blog that she recently visited our country for a quick vacation. Well, too bad for me, I wasn't able to see her. I really wish to meet her someday.
Nicole Kidman - Nobody wears couture like Nicole Kidman. This Aussie movie star is such a queen of the red carpet. Her statuesque figure and elegant sense of style made her a constant favorite in Mr. Blackwell's annual best dressed list. Aside from being perfectly wardrobed, this Hollywood screen goddess is also known as an intelligent actress. She only does artsy no-nonsense films that can showcase her excellent acting talent, and none of those dumb blonde flicks. Her break-up with the couch-jumping scientologist was painful, but she has learned to get over it and happier now with Keith Urban.
Daphne Osena-Paez - She's one of the glamour girls of local broadcasting. This classic sophisticate shared her fashion secrets in the defunct lifestyle show "F" and now hosts a women empowerment program on QTV. Everybody would agree that Daphne Osena is a good example of a stylish woman in a little black dress. Have you seen her Proudly Filipina poster lately? She looked stunning right? Anyway, I miss the fashion segments that she did on "F." I hope she would present fashion trends in her new show, just like the way she featured the pearls, the Imelda shirt and the bubble skirt episodes on "F."
Shirley Manson - She's not Gwen Stefani, she's not Nina Persson, she's not Dolores O'Riordan, and she's not Marilyn Manson's sister. She is the red-head frontwoman of the Scottish/American rock band Garbage. This rocker chic is already 41 and yet she still looks young and sexy. You should see their new video "Tell Me Where it Hurts" and you'll agree with me that this rock royalty doesn't look 41 at all. It's really amazing how rockstars decided not to look wasted these days. I mean, considering the drugs and the gigs, some really look trashy. Isn't that right Courtney Love?
Sarah Meier - This six-foot-tall mannequin was formerly known as Borgy Manotoc's ex. But what most people didn't know is that prior to Borgy and her life with MTV, Sarah Meier was already known in the industry as a supermodel. Her beautiful face has graced the covers of different magazines and her killer legs have strutted the catwalks of New York. What I like about this VJ is that she is not ashamed to admit of having bad hair days. She once said that she can endorse a lot of products, except for shampoo. Well, I also did feel bad about my hair because it's sometimes big and frizzy and very difficult to manage. But since the beautiful Sarah Meier has accepted to love her hair, I realized that I have no right to complain because everyone feels that same way.
So there they go...my favorite women. Maybe next time, I would post my list of favorite men. Well, that's all folks. I will see you next time for another crazy, nasty and bitchy blogging session. Buh-bye:)
J.Lo - I'm not a big fan of her marriages, her acting and most of all her big ASSests, but I must admit that I should give Mrs. Mark Anthony some credits for her businesses. Jenny from the Block knows where to invest her earnings. I mean she has a clothing line, a perfume line, a restaurant etc. With all of these business ventures, Jennifer Lopez has created her name into a brand. That's really an achievement, and it only proves that her brain is bigger than her butt.
Kate Moss - Shaunistas would say that if you want to leave a legacy in the world of fashion, set a "craze" that everyone would follow. Twiggy popularized the MOD fashion in the Swinging 60s (a.k.a. The British Invasion because of The Beatles fever), Gemma Ward became the "It" girl of today's modeling because of her babydoll/alien look, and Kate Moss set the Heroin Chic trend in the Grunge 90s. Cocaine Kate is the shortest supermodel. She only stands 5'6", but she is considered an icon of style because her look is different from the voluptuous supermodels that reigned before her era. Her waif figure, dark-circled eyes, and prominent bone structures landed her a job with the world's top fashion houses. Although she is criticized for glamorizing eating disorders and drug addiction (issues that described her look and eventually caused her temporary career downfalls), Kate Moss just posed for the cameras and walked the runways of success like a real pro. It's true that Kate Moss shouldn't be emulate because of her rock-and-roll lifestyle, but for people like Lindsay Lohan, Moss is not just a supermodel but a role model. Yes, Thin Queen is worshipped by the Teen Queen. Now you know why La Lohan is such a wild child, maybe she got that "troubled" look from her idol. Anyway setting all her bad rep aside, Kate Moss is still my favorite supermodel for she is the ultimate definition of "thin is in!". Yeah! I'm thin and I'm in!
"You can be my black Kate Moss tonight". - Stronger, Kanye West
Ellen Degeneres - She is the sexiest lesbian alive! Don't you just love her? Ellen Degeneres is the coolest gay on television. She's smart, she's funny, and she's stylish. Portia De Rossi must be one lucky girl. This People's Choice award-winning host achieved a huge following by lending her voice in Disney's Finding Nemo. I have been watching her talk show since it aired on 2nd Avenue and I must admit that my day is not complete without watching her show. The monologues, the dance, the gifts and the guests are just few of the things that I look forward to in her show. And oh, I almost forgot, I look forward to her outfits as well. I know that the clothes make the man, but Ellen is one hot woman who can pull a man's clothes off. Her androgynous sense of style is so trendy. So if ever you’ll see me wearing a preppy top with a punky necktie, that get-up is inspired by Ellen. Yeah, by Ellen. It only looks like an Avril-Lavigne-on-a-prolonged-puberty because I'm the one who's wearing it, but if a cropped-haired girl will sport that outfit, you will know that it's an Ellen original.
Bea Alonzo - This girl has been portraying mature roles since the day she turned 15. Known as John Lloyd Cruz's on-screen better half, Bea Alonzo is regarded by the local entertainment as the best actress of her generation. I'm not really a big fan of teleseryes but this girl's acting prowess blows me away. She knows how to give justice to every role that she plays. Undoubtedly, all the filmmakers that she has worked with were impressed by her performances. This 19 year old doesn't only know how to be in character, but she can also add character to clothes as well. A former image model of Karimadon, Beautiful Bea is now the new poster girl of Kashieca, replacing the gorgeous Georgina Wilson.
Celine Lopez - You will recognize her as one of Tim Yap's supporters in Celebrity Duets. This Guimaras heiress is currently the face of Plains and Prints and she has also done ad campaigns for Pepsi and Bench. Popularly known as the social butterfly of Manila's party scene, Celine Lopez also writes a popular column in The Philippine Star. I have been reading her columns since my college days in St. Paul. I remember hanging out in the library and reading the lifestyle sections of The Star so I wouldn't miss any of her write-ups (in case Pop forgot to buy TPS.) A lot of people would say that "I'm-a-writer-wannabe-who-also-wants-to-be-a-clone-of-Zafra," but actually I'm more influenced by Celine Lopez. Well, Jessica Zafra is Jessica Zafra, everybody knows that she's an institution in Philippine journalism, but I was really hooked by C.Lo's writings. Celine Lopez's delilahs and purgatories bewitched me, and for that, I revered her as my favorite writer.
Tina Fey - Behind those serious nerdy glasses is a Greek chic with a fantastic sense of humor. Tina Fey is a Saturday Night Live alumna who now stars with Alec Baldwin in the hit sitcom 30 Rock. I miss her weekend update in SNL and I know a lot of viewers will not forget the episode when she called Paris Hilton - Such Lovely Unique Talent. That stands for S.L.U.T. Anyway, she also wrote the screenplay of the dark teenage comedy Mean Girls, where she stars alongside Lindsay Lohan and Rachel McAdams.
Elyse Sewell - She is known as the "edgy pre-med student" of the cycle one of America's Next Top Model. She's my bet in the competition, because she's intelligent and straightforward (unlike the other girls who deal with too much drama). Although she did not win the modeling contract with Revlon, Elyse Sewell became the most successful ANTM contestant. Currently a top model in Hong Kong, Elyse Sewell has also done high fashion and commercial modeling gigs in Europe. In 2006, she published her first book entitled Beauty and The Biz: The International Adventures of America's Third-to-Next Top Model based on her popular LiveJournal weblog. I've read in her blog that she recently visited our country for a quick vacation. Well, too bad for me, I wasn't able to see her. I really wish to meet her someday.
Nicole Kidman - Nobody wears couture like Nicole Kidman. This Aussie movie star is such a queen of the red carpet. Her statuesque figure and elegant sense of style made her a constant favorite in Mr. Blackwell's annual best dressed list. Aside from being perfectly wardrobed, this Hollywood screen goddess is also known as an intelligent actress. She only does artsy no-nonsense films that can showcase her excellent acting talent, and none of those dumb blonde flicks. Her break-up with the couch-jumping scientologist was painful, but she has learned to get over it and happier now with Keith Urban.
Daphne Osena-Paez - She's one of the glamour girls of local broadcasting. This classic sophisticate shared her fashion secrets in the defunct lifestyle show "F" and now hosts a women empowerment program on QTV. Everybody would agree that Daphne Osena is a good example of a stylish woman in a little black dress. Have you seen her Proudly Filipina poster lately? She looked stunning right? Anyway, I miss the fashion segments that she did on "F." I hope she would present fashion trends in her new show, just like the way she featured the pearls, the Imelda shirt and the bubble skirt episodes on "F."
Shirley Manson - She's not Gwen Stefani, she's not Nina Persson, she's not Dolores O'Riordan, and she's not Marilyn Manson's sister. She is the red-head frontwoman of the Scottish/American rock band Garbage. This rocker chic is already 41 and yet she still looks young and sexy. You should see their new video "Tell Me Where it Hurts" and you'll agree with me that this rock royalty doesn't look 41 at all. It's really amazing how rockstars decided not to look wasted these days. I mean, considering the drugs and the gigs, some really look trashy. Isn't that right Courtney Love?
Sarah Meier - This six-foot-tall mannequin was formerly known as Borgy Manotoc's ex. But what most people didn't know is that prior to Borgy and her life with MTV, Sarah Meier was already known in the industry as a supermodel. Her beautiful face has graced the covers of different magazines and her killer legs have strutted the catwalks of New York. What I like about this VJ is that she is not ashamed to admit of having bad hair days. She once said that she can endorse a lot of products, except for shampoo. Well, I also did feel bad about my hair because it's sometimes big and frizzy and very difficult to manage. But since the beautiful Sarah Meier has accepted to love her hair, I realized that I have no right to complain because everyone feels that same way.
So there they go...my favorite women. Maybe next time, I would post my list of favorite men. Well, that's all folks. I will see you next time for another crazy, nasty and bitchy blogging session. Buh-bye:)
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby!
Once upon a time, there were pop princesses who defined what love should be like. In the late '90s, the hormonally-charged Britney Spears danced, sang (or should I say lip-synched) to tune of Sometimes.
Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide.
Sometimes I'm scared of you.
Similarly, the eye candy blondie named Mandy Moore released her single Crush.
I had a crush on you.
I hope you feel the way that I do.
I get a rush when I'm with you.
I was one of the teenagers in the late '90s, and yes, I listened to Britney, Mandy and Christina. WHAT WAS I THINKING?! Well, it was the late '90s, I was young, and I didn't know what I'm doing. Going back to that love thing, you see, every day I feel like singing to The Cure's Yesterday I got so old I thought that I could die. Why the hell am I rocking on that? Well, I'm 23 and I'm too young to die, yet I already feel so old. Old? Do I look old? Maybe I'm going crazy. Well, this is just one of the few things that happen when you didn't see the Bloody Moon. Have you seen the lunar eclipse?
Anyway, people say that love is the secret to rejuvenation. And to feel love, you must feel young. When I was a teen, I would answer the "Define Love" portion of a slum book by writing the generic..."Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet but not like you." I was a different teen at that time. I used to think that love sucks. Why? I was the only single girl in class and all my girlfriends have boytoys to play with. Nah, I wasn't envious or anything, but sometimes I wish they had lend their toys to me. Wahehaha.
Now that I'm older, wiser, and a little bit retarded, I no longer believe in that teenage concept of love. What the hell was that? Well, teeners have come up with this bubblegum theory that love is manifested through kilig and pa-cute. Oh please! Give me a break, can I have a gum? Well, I don't feel that way. I don't feel the chills and the thrills, and the butterflies and all that jazz. Do you think that's pathetic? No, you got it wrong. This "abnormal" feeling didn't stem from a long experience of unreciprocated love (well, it could be), but from outgrowing that phase in life when you do not know what you want. I already know what I want and I know it can make me happy. I know when I'm in love and when I'm not. I know when that "funny weird feeling" is just an infatuation or just a worst case of flatulence. I'm not the only person who feels this way because Anne does. Right Anne?
I'm a hopeless romantic, but a lot of times I think that I'm a bummer when it comes to the matters of heart. Romantic comedy, anyone? It always ended up being funny and to some worst extent - slapstick. I hate it because I take love too seriously. Does it mean that the joke's on me?
I was watching Walk the Line a few days ago and I came across the scene where the two country singers had a mini-LQ. I like the part when June Carter (Reese Witherspoon) made a sarcastic term of endearment to Johnny Cash (Joaquin Phoenix). "Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby! ,"she said mockingly.
That was great and I did a lot of thinking about that. Hmmm...it gave me an idea of how to call my future beau. Well, we could call each other Bee, like Jay-Z and Beyonce. And if ever there'll be a third party (in his part), that girl better be called Boo. Yeah, like a scary ugly ghost, Boo! And if there's a third party, there will be world war three. All is fair in love and war right? So we're keeping the pet names, only different. He can call me beeeeeitch Bitch and I can call him Bastard while we engage in an angry word war.
I'm stretching my imagination too far.
I have learned a lot of things about life and love. Love, it's fun, it's crazy, It's Complicated!, it's love. You have to know what you want and you have to fight for it. You must also learn how to accept defeat when you fail. Let go and move on, because some relationships are born to die, so get another. And please, DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE IF YOU'RE NOT OWEN WILSON. I have fallen in love and I also fell out of love. I had my share of heartaches, but I know I'm strong, because I'm Snow White!
My friend, Princess Fiona has changed since she found Shrek. Or is it the other way around? Whatever it is, love is still the hippest thing that ever happened to revolution. Maybe next time, I will find myself singing to another The Cure song, I hope it goes like this:
Whenever I'm alone with you, YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I AM YOUNG AGAIN.
Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide.
Sometimes I'm scared of you.
Similarly, the eye candy blondie named Mandy Moore released her single Crush.
I had a crush on you.
I hope you feel the way that I do.
I get a rush when I'm with you.
I was one of the teenagers in the late '90s, and yes, I listened to Britney, Mandy and Christina. WHAT WAS I THINKING?! Well, it was the late '90s, I was young, and I didn't know what I'm doing. Going back to that love thing, you see, every day I feel like singing to The Cure's Yesterday I got so old I thought that I could die. Why the hell am I rocking on that? Well, I'm 23 and I'm too young to die, yet I already feel so old. Old? Do I look old? Maybe I'm going crazy. Well, this is just one of the few things that happen when you didn't see the Bloody Moon. Have you seen the lunar eclipse?
Anyway, people say that love is the secret to rejuvenation. And to feel love, you must feel young. When I was a teen, I would answer the "Define Love" portion of a slum book by writing the generic..."Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sugar is sweet but not like you." I was a different teen at that time. I used to think that love sucks. Why? I was the only single girl in class and all my girlfriends have boytoys to play with. Nah, I wasn't envious or anything, but sometimes I wish they had lend their toys to me. Wahehaha.
Now that I'm older, wiser, and a little bit retarded, I no longer believe in that teenage concept of love. What the hell was that? Well, teeners have come up with this bubblegum theory that love is manifested through kilig and pa-cute. Oh please! Give me a break, can I have a gum? Well, I don't feel that way. I don't feel the chills and the thrills, and the butterflies and all that jazz. Do you think that's pathetic? No, you got it wrong. This "abnormal" feeling didn't stem from a long experience of unreciprocated love (well, it could be), but from outgrowing that phase in life when you do not know what you want. I already know what I want and I know it can make me happy. I know when I'm in love and when I'm not. I know when that "funny weird feeling" is just an infatuation or just a worst case of flatulence. I'm not the only person who feels this way because Anne does. Right Anne?
I'm a hopeless romantic, but a lot of times I think that I'm a bummer when it comes to the matters of heart. Romantic comedy, anyone? It always ended up being funny and to some worst extent - slapstick. I hate it because I take love too seriously. Does it mean that the joke's on me?
I was watching Walk the Line a few days ago and I came across the scene where the two country singers had a mini-LQ. I like the part when June Carter (Reese Witherspoon) made a sarcastic term of endearment to Johnny Cash (Joaquin Phoenix). "Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby! ,"she said mockingly.
That was great and I did a lot of thinking about that. Hmmm...it gave me an idea of how to call my future beau. Well, we could call each other Bee, like Jay-Z and Beyonce. And if ever there'll be a third party (in his part), that girl better be called Boo. Yeah, like a scary ugly ghost, Boo! And if there's a third party, there will be world war three. All is fair in love and war right? So we're keeping the pet names, only different. He can call me beeeeeitch Bitch and I can call him Bastard while we engage in an angry word war.
I'm stretching my imagination too far.
I have learned a lot of things about life and love. Love, it's fun, it's crazy, It's Complicated!, it's love. You have to know what you want and you have to fight for it. You must also learn how to accept defeat when you fail. Let go and move on, because some relationships are born to die, so get another. And please, DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE IF YOU'RE NOT OWEN WILSON. I have fallen in love and I also fell out of love. I had my share of heartaches, but I know I'm strong, because I'm Snow White!
My friend, Princess Fiona has changed since she found Shrek. Or is it the other way around? Whatever it is, love is still the hippest thing that ever happened to revolution. Maybe next time, I will find myself singing to another The Cure song, I hope it goes like this:
Whenever I'm alone with you, YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I AM YOUNG AGAIN.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
While he was sleeping
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming?
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe I actually picked you.
- Hate Me, Blue October
- Hate Me, Blue October
It's raining outside and I wonder if he's sleeping. Hmmm. Maybe he's crying himself to sleep. Ahuhuhu. Hush, hush. As for me, I let this rain put teardrops in my eyes. It's like Visine, but not salty. "I'm not crying, it's just raining," says a line from a movie that I haven't seen or heard of. Hey, I'm not crying, I just accidentally poked my eye with an eye pencil.
As I've said it's raining, it's cold and everyone wants to be wrapped in somebody's arms. Corny. But if you're single like moi, you better grab Teddy (or in my case Porky because I love stuffed toys that are baboy) than your old baby pillow. Why? Do you want to hug something that has been perfumed by your Eau de laway? Haha. Well, I'd rather lip smack Teddy or Porky, because I already knew what baby pillow taste like. Wahahehe. Hey, it was only a kiss. It was only a kiss.
It's raining outside and I wonder if he's sleeping.
The past few months have been hot like hell
and people prayed, "let there be rain."
And there was rain.
Lots and lots of rain.
And the "god" rested on the seventh day.
Fade in music: Kiss the Rain, Billie Myers
As the clouds shed tears for the thirsty land, I saw the air sprinkled sand in his eyes. He rested his head in his arms and easily fell asleep. I watched him while he was sleeping. I said I loved him while he was sleeping. I whispered his name but he didn't hear me. I touched him but he didn't feel me. I tried not to make a sound for I didn't want to wake him up. He could be dreaming and I could be dreaming. If he wake up, I could be the first thing that he'll see.
Mabait ka pala kapag tulog.
Lagi ka na lang tulog, pero hindi ka naman napapagod.
Kailan ka ba matatauhan?
Kailan ka ba magigising?
Shhhhh.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
*Hate me by Blue October (The third line is originally “I can’t believe you actually picked me.”)
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
RAISING HELLene
Before you proceed with this, I want to share you something I read in the web a month ago, it says...
Blogs are meant to speak your mind and not make things complicated.
I'm gonna write what I want to write, so if there's something about this blog that you find offensive, just close this window and don't ever read this again. I always warned you about the things that I write, so don't tell me that you didn't know that I said DO NOT COPY THIS AND SPREAD IT LIKE VIRUS. Hindi ko naman sinabi na basahin niyo 'to, at kung may nabasa man kayo, sana manahimik na lang. I'm not angry; I just don't need people who will get me in trouble.
How many times do I have to tell you that my dear readers?
For those who are open-minded enough and those WHO WON'T STAB MY BACK, proceed
After a thought-provoking conversation with a girlfriend, my brain suddenly becomes fertile. Hippie-yippie-hipyip! This is good! Now I can finally write my thoughts without stressing myself.
First of all, what the hell does "Raising Hellene" mean? Well, when I was in first year high school my teacher in Filipino would call me Helin (no not Hen-Lin). She would pronounce the J with an H and it sounded Helene. I liked the way she pronounced it because it gave my name some edge, it sounded so Greek like Helen of Troy (FYI the face that launch a thousand ship). Hehe, ganda.
I was beginning to get used to it, but I change my mind when I realized how my nickname would sound like...“Hi, I'm Helene, but you can call me HELL."Nice. Never mind. I don't want to be called Hell Girl. Well, I heard Heidi Klum named her little girl Helene. Maybe the name is only cute for Germans.
Yesterday, I was reading the reviews of Joshua Ferris' Then We Came to the End. It's a satirical novel about how people spent their eight hours inside an office. In an interview with New York Magazine, Ferris cited his reasons on why he wrote the book. I can somehow relate to his answers and it prompted me to write something about it. Here's what Ferris had said and what I'm gonna say about the things that happen inside corporate hell. And maybe through this you will know (well, a lot of people already know) why I am a rebel with/out a cause.
Rebellion
"Sometimes I’d just leave the office. I didn’t tell anyone I was leaving. I’d just go home, watch TV, and make a sandwich. I didn’t need to do anything crazy, it was more about the intrigue of being AWOL. You miss that when you’re working for yourself."
- I confessed that I'm all over the workplace. I act like a self-promoted supervisor who walks in rows of caffeinated researchers. I can't help it. I just feel the need to walk and talk to make my mind function. I know it's bad, but it's so good. Wasting the company's time is so relaxing and it makes me want to do it more. I love to walk around and talk a lot, because staring at the size-zero PC (most PCs are plus-size) for a long time strains my eyes. Excuses, excuses, excuses. When will I walk out of this job?
"Procrastination is the thief of time." - Neil Gaiman
Well, I have a proposition to make. Since we are not allowed to visit non-work related sites, maybe it would be best if we visit our neighbors instead. He-ha. I wish. As if it's going to happen. Anyway, I know it sound so strange but there are times that I hallucinate and see my fellow researchers as multitasking-coffee-fueled-machines. It's so weird it could inspire me to write a book entitled LIKE COFFEE FOR GASOLINE. Harhar. Funny.
The Terror
"The day some of my colleagues were fired, there was one guy who stuck around for hours, trying to get various people in the office to tell him why he’d been fired. It dragged out so long, it became surreal, and then it became menacing. His entire self-worth balanced on knowing why that decision had been made."
- I can relate to this one because there are a lot of times in the past when I would ask myself "WHAT THE FUCK DOES PROBATIONARY-EXTENSION MEANS?" I don't fucking get it. I only have one absent and no late. They even fucking recognized me as one of their fucking researchers with fucking perfect attendance. I fucking achieved their fucking evaluation grade of 90. I fucking laughed at the comedy they called ERROR REPORT and fucking learned not commit the same mistakes again. I fucking kept in mind that QUANTITY IS BETTER THAN QUALITY. And I fuck this job as if it's hot. Yet they're fucking blind not to see it. Or are they just PLAYING FAVORITES? Do they know the meaning of "Unfair"? Or they just love to power-trip? What the hell does "pinag-isipan ko talaga nang mabuti kung ireregular kita o hindi" mean? Oh fuck you bitch! You're only good in slapping that to my face like I don't deserve it.
She should have killed me instead. Or maybe I should have put end to it. If only I wasn't in the middle of a Great Depression at that time, then maybe I have long before walked out of this job. If only I wasn't so bad like Mariah-Carey's-acting-in-Glitter (a.k.a. Nervous Breakdown), then maybe I could confidently face the world outside. I was left with no other choice but to stick with this. I was broke, and leaving this job would have made me poor and miserable. I never thought that graduation would make me like this. Life's a bitch when you don't have money.
But things seem to be okay now.
I just need to settle important matters and I will move out according to plan.
Yes. Because this salary won't buy me all the eyeliners in world.
- I have my own definition of terror. It always feels like Halloween whenever I hear the Goddess of the Underworld and her gang of witches engages in boisterous laughter. "Ahi-hi-hi-hi. Aray ko!" I can't help but imagine her and her fellow witches practicing a satanic rite inside the pantry. Iniisip ko baka habang tumatawa sila, naghahalo sila ng sabaw sa malaking palayok at tinitingnan kung kaninong mukha ang lalabas sa hinahalo. One more thing, I think there's nothing scarier than hearing someone say: "She is not here, she is HALF-DAY." Hala, sino yun? Sino ba yung nag-half na yun na may lahing manananggal? Nahahati yata ang katawan. She is half-day daw eh.
Ethics
"Idiocy is on wide display at any workplace, but it really behooves you to treat everyone with respect, even if they don’t deserve it. One day, I criticized a colleague about a decision she’d made. Later, she came into my office, closed the door, and cried. I realized that nothing I could say about a bill insert or a hotel newsletter was important enough to risk making that happen."
- A bitchy superior who is grammatically inferior doesn't deserve to be treated with respect. Oooh...Nasty. I'm so mean and I already know that. Okay lang naman mapagalitan basta ba tama ang grammar diba? I said this before, how can you preach about professionalism when you don't even practice it yourself? Paano nga ba magpaka-ipokrita? Explain to me the difference between talking to a neighbor and a non-work-related conversation on the phone. Sana man lang maging discreet.
Doris gave me this shirt that says EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH, I know I shouldn't be wearing it because it will just make me a wrong example to Marshall McLuhan's "The Medium is the Message." But I don't care, I will wear it as long as I want to mock whoever it is who deserve to be mock. Bato, bato sa langit, ang tamaan avocado.
Romance
"The office is a romantic enabler because you’re always around the person you have a crush on. There’s no escape from, and maybe no desire to escape from, those pressure-cooker conditions. And there’s an automatic series of things you have to talk about all the time."
- I already lost my religion to what they say as "office love." Roden once told me, "ayaw mo nun, may reason ka nang pumasok sa trabaho." It only works for you Den, but not for me because you have a nice love life.
Truth: People will only stick with their own kind.
For example:
"I am a model and you are a model. I will marry you. Our children will be models and our grandchildren will be models and our great-grand-children will be models blah blah blah."
- Jay McCarroll, Project Runway
You don't get it? I don't get it too.I know it's good to stop and smell the roses in the stinking place of corporate hell, but sometimes I realize that I don't need to feel the butterflies to feel inspired. “Boo,” I can hear what people are saying. Anyway, maybe I should take a look around and find beauty in the ugly. Okay, I see nothing, or maybe I just refused to see it. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a romantic. I still find happiness in loving, even at a distance.
Comrades
"One Christmas party, I got really wasted on the top of the John Hancock building. I made a mess of myself in the restroom, getting sick all over the place. And those poor saps helped me take the elevator down, all 95 floors. I thank them for that."
- Allies are formed because of hostile working environment. I have made a lot of friends in this place, and believe it or not, our friendship was born out of mutual dislike to the Mother of all Phlegm (I should have copyright this phrase because someone has been plagiarizing it.) Anyway, the bond kinda grows from there and it continues to grow from there.
You may not believe this but I also feel guilty on the nasty things that I've said and done. I know it's difficult to lead a team and I also understand if they're strict. There are a lot of things that I don't understand about them, and for sure there are a lot of things that they don't understand about people like me. Maybe they tried to understand me but they didn't understand me at all. Maybe some things are the way they are. Maybe we'll never gonna understand each other.
If I don't like this job, then why am I still here? I don't know. Maybe I should clear my desk before everyone else does. It seems that everybody's leaving and I wonder who's next. It could be me, it could be you. I think this thing I have or we have also exists in any workplace. I already had enough of the unyippee yuppie life. I know it’s going to sound like a broken record, but this time, I better turn this life around.
Blogs are meant to speak your mind and not make things complicated.
I'm gonna write what I want to write, so if there's something about this blog that you find offensive, just close this window and don't ever read this again. I always warned you about the things that I write, so don't tell me that you didn't know that I said DO NOT COPY THIS AND SPREAD IT LIKE VIRUS. Hindi ko naman sinabi na basahin niyo 'to, at kung may nabasa man kayo, sana manahimik na lang. I'm not angry; I just don't need people who will get me in trouble.
How many times do I have to tell you that my dear readers?
For those who are open-minded enough and those WHO WON'T STAB MY BACK, proceed
After a thought-provoking conversation with a girlfriend, my brain suddenly becomes fertile. Hippie-yippie-hipyip! This is good! Now I can finally write my thoughts without stressing myself.
First of all, what the hell does "Raising Hellene" mean? Well, when I was in first year high school my teacher in Filipino would call me Helin (no not Hen-Lin). She would pronounce the J with an H and it sounded Helene. I liked the way she pronounced it because it gave my name some edge, it sounded so Greek like Helen of Troy (FYI the face that launch a thousand ship). Hehe, ganda.
I was beginning to get used to it, but I change my mind when I realized how my nickname would sound like...“Hi, I'm Helene, but you can call me HELL."Nice. Never mind. I don't want to be called Hell Girl. Well, I heard Heidi Klum named her little girl Helene. Maybe the name is only cute for Germans.
Yesterday, I was reading the reviews of Joshua Ferris' Then We Came to the End. It's a satirical novel about how people spent their eight hours inside an office. In an interview with New York Magazine, Ferris cited his reasons on why he wrote the book. I can somehow relate to his answers and it prompted me to write something about it. Here's what Ferris had said and what I'm gonna say about the things that happen inside corporate hell. And maybe through this you will know (well, a lot of people already know) why I am a rebel with/out a cause.
Rebellion
"Sometimes I’d just leave the office. I didn’t tell anyone I was leaving. I’d just go home, watch TV, and make a sandwich. I didn’t need to do anything crazy, it was more about the intrigue of being AWOL. You miss that when you’re working for yourself."
- I confessed that I'm all over the workplace. I act like a self-promoted supervisor who walks in rows of caffeinated researchers. I can't help it. I just feel the need to walk and talk to make my mind function. I know it's bad, but it's so good. Wasting the company's time is so relaxing and it makes me want to do it more. I love to walk around and talk a lot, because staring at the size-zero PC (most PCs are plus-size) for a long time strains my eyes. Excuses, excuses, excuses. When will I walk out of this job?
"Procrastination is the thief of time." - Neil Gaiman
Well, I have a proposition to make. Since we are not allowed to visit non-work related sites, maybe it would be best if we visit our neighbors instead. He-ha. I wish. As if it's going to happen. Anyway, I know it sound so strange but there are times that I hallucinate and see my fellow researchers as multitasking-coffee-fueled-machines. It's so weird it could inspire me to write a book entitled LIKE COFFEE FOR GASOLINE. Harhar. Funny.
The Terror
"The day some of my colleagues were fired, there was one guy who stuck around for hours, trying to get various people in the office to tell him why he’d been fired. It dragged out so long, it became surreal, and then it became menacing. His entire self-worth balanced on knowing why that decision had been made."
- I can relate to this one because there are a lot of times in the past when I would ask myself "WHAT THE FUCK DOES PROBATIONARY-EXTENSION MEANS?" I don't fucking get it. I only have one absent and no late. They even fucking recognized me as one of their fucking researchers with fucking perfect attendance. I fucking achieved their fucking evaluation grade of 90. I fucking laughed at the comedy they called ERROR REPORT and fucking learned not commit the same mistakes again. I fucking kept in mind that QUANTITY IS BETTER THAN QUALITY. And I fuck this job as if it's hot. Yet they're fucking blind not to see it. Or are they just PLAYING FAVORITES? Do they know the meaning of "Unfair"? Or they just love to power-trip? What the hell does "pinag-isipan ko talaga nang mabuti kung ireregular kita o hindi" mean? Oh fuck you bitch! You're only good in slapping that to my face like I don't deserve it.
She should have killed me instead. Or maybe I should have put end to it. If only I wasn't in the middle of a Great Depression at that time, then maybe I have long before walked out of this job. If only I wasn't so bad like Mariah-Carey's-acting-in-Glitter (a.k.a. Nervous Breakdown), then maybe I could confidently face the world outside. I was left with no other choice but to stick with this. I was broke, and leaving this job would have made me poor and miserable. I never thought that graduation would make me like this. Life's a bitch when you don't have money.
But things seem to be okay now.
I just need to settle important matters and I will move out according to plan.
Yes. Because this salary won't buy me all the eyeliners in world.
- I have my own definition of terror. It always feels like Halloween whenever I hear the Goddess of the Underworld and her gang of witches engages in boisterous laughter. "Ahi-hi-hi-hi. Aray ko!" I can't help but imagine her and her fellow witches practicing a satanic rite inside the pantry. Iniisip ko baka habang tumatawa sila, naghahalo sila ng sabaw sa malaking palayok at tinitingnan kung kaninong mukha ang lalabas sa hinahalo. One more thing, I think there's nothing scarier than hearing someone say: "She is not here, she is HALF-DAY." Hala, sino yun? Sino ba yung nag-half na yun na may lahing manananggal? Nahahati yata ang katawan. She is half-day daw eh.
Ethics
"Idiocy is on wide display at any workplace, but it really behooves you to treat everyone with respect, even if they don’t deserve it. One day, I criticized a colleague about a decision she’d made. Later, she came into my office, closed the door, and cried. I realized that nothing I could say about a bill insert or a hotel newsletter was important enough to risk making that happen."
- A bitchy superior who is grammatically inferior doesn't deserve to be treated with respect. Oooh...Nasty. I'm so mean and I already know that. Okay lang naman mapagalitan basta ba tama ang grammar diba? I said this before, how can you preach about professionalism when you don't even practice it yourself? Paano nga ba magpaka-ipokrita? Explain to me the difference between talking to a neighbor and a non-work-related conversation on the phone. Sana man lang maging discreet.
Doris gave me this shirt that says EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH, I know I shouldn't be wearing it because it will just make me a wrong example to Marshall McLuhan's "The Medium is the Message." But I don't care, I will wear it as long as I want to mock whoever it is who deserve to be mock. Bato, bato sa langit, ang tamaan avocado.
Romance
"The office is a romantic enabler because you’re always around the person you have a crush on. There’s no escape from, and maybe no desire to escape from, those pressure-cooker conditions. And there’s an automatic series of things you have to talk about all the time."
- I already lost my religion to what they say as "office love." Roden once told me, "ayaw mo nun, may reason ka nang pumasok sa trabaho." It only works for you Den, but not for me because you have a nice love life.
Truth: People will only stick with their own kind.
For example:
"I am a model and you are a model. I will marry you. Our children will be models and our grandchildren will be models and our great-grand-children will be models blah blah blah."
- Jay McCarroll, Project Runway
You don't get it? I don't get it too.I know it's good to stop and smell the roses in the stinking place of corporate hell, but sometimes I realize that I don't need to feel the butterflies to feel inspired. “Boo,” I can hear what people are saying. Anyway, maybe I should take a look around and find beauty in the ugly. Okay, I see nothing, or maybe I just refused to see it. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a romantic. I still find happiness in loving, even at a distance.
Comrades
"One Christmas party, I got really wasted on the top of the John Hancock building. I made a mess of myself in the restroom, getting sick all over the place. And those poor saps helped me take the elevator down, all 95 floors. I thank them for that."
- Allies are formed because of hostile working environment. I have made a lot of friends in this place, and believe it or not, our friendship was born out of mutual dislike to the Mother of all Phlegm (I should have copyright this phrase because someone has been plagiarizing it.) Anyway, the bond kinda grows from there and it continues to grow from there.
You may not believe this but I also feel guilty on the nasty things that I've said and done. I know it's difficult to lead a team and I also understand if they're strict. There are a lot of things that I don't understand about them, and for sure there are a lot of things that they don't understand about people like me. Maybe they tried to understand me but they didn't understand me at all. Maybe some things are the way they are. Maybe we'll never gonna understand each other.
If I don't like this job, then why am I still here? I don't know. Maybe I should clear my desk before everyone else does. It seems that everybody's leaving and I wonder who's next. It could be me, it could be you. I think this thing I have or we have also exists in any workplace. I already had enough of the unyippee yuppie life. I know it’s going to sound like a broken record, but this time, I better turn this life around.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Literary-literally-lusty
I'm beginning to feel convince that I am a perfect guinea pig to some amateur mental experiment. People call me Jel. Does that name ring a bell? (And does it even have to rhyme?) Tililing. Oh great, I better stop this nonsense or people will feel convince that I am really a human guinea pig. Well, guinea pigs are cute especially when they run in circular treadmills, but hey, they smell like baby urine. Ewww. It's so clear that I'm losing my mind again. Why should I compare myself to a guinea pig?
I'm sorry about that; just pretend that it's the cough syrup blogging. Anyway, my brain is all black and blue for I did a lot of beating around the bush. (Just re-read at the text above) Yeah, it's one hell of a bloody exercise. I've been warming up my brain cells lately because I need to produce a good copy for this site. Where are my thoughts? My thoughts are scattered like rainshowers...and I'm crazy as the weather.
This is what happens when you work in the business that capitalizes on the laziness of teenage American kids. I wonder if there are task codes assigned for plagiarizing, editorializing, and bastardizing. It’s a shame but I think I'm beginning to be good at it. I deserve a promotion! But putting all my angst aside, I must admit that I like this more than the other projects on the row, because this thing makes me do the thing that I love most - writing. Oh look there goes the smirk again. I think I better have a new nickname - SMIRKFETTE. Yeah, derived from that bluish cartoon character named Smurfette. Smirkfette...it doesn't sound so nice.
Anyway, I won't blame you if you think this blog is going nowhere. You can close this window now. My bad, I'm sorry. But if you want some scoop regarding my so-called boring life, then just carry on.
Wild thing, you make my heart sing. (Nah-nah-nah-nana) You make everything groov-ey.
Wait, my estrogen level is going up and I now I feel horny for words.
A friend told me that a man with a vault of ideas is orgasmic.
Hmmm. No, you're not smelling sex and candy here. I came across a tagline that somehow justifies the statement: Isipin ang malalim na kahulugan ng pagtatalik ng mga kaisipan at pagniniig ng mga kaalaman. Ooooh. That sounds almost orgasmic, it kinda turns me on. Whacked! I know people are laughing right now because they can't imagine me writing this kind of stuff. Haha. Anyway, I get it. We all need something intellectually stimulating to pump up our sex appeal. Hey, it's been a long time since someone told me that I'm intellectually sexy. You can call me Yabang, but I won't take it back for that comment came from a girl (and she's not a dyke). What's happening to me? Why am I becoming an airhead? Does it mean that this job is stripping away all the sexiness (kapal!) in me and all I've got to cover up are two dowdy uniforms? For the love of fashion! With all of these issues residing in me, I wonder if there's gonna be a guy out there, a guy who can nail a thought-provoking conversation, and who will be interested to date a girl like me. I've been looking for him far and wide. Ooops, there he goes. The guy with a hot mind.
Where?
Yung dumaan.
Me and my friends are talking about him. Did he hear what I've said? No, because he's handicapped. He's deaf, mute and insensitive. He's also blind, but he stares at me. Right, what the hell does that mean? He's looking at me but I don't know if he sees me. If he only knew that it's not only glances that he stole from me, he also took away my heart. I hate to admit it but I think I'm crazy over a guy who's in love with somebody else. It kinda hurts but whatever makes him happy. What did I see in him? I don't know but I think I have fallen in love with his mind. I think these lines from a Depeche Mode song was made for him.
He will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live
in And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
He'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact he'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
He will understand me.
If there’s one thing I want to say to him, it’s going to be this: I hope you won't put all the weight of the world on your shoulders, you’re not a god to make all things new.
How do I love thee?
Damn if I do, damn if I don't.
Maybe I should stop looking for the one who was not really there. Maybe I should not neglect the one who was there all along. Maybe I should stop comparing him to somebody else. Someday I will come around.
If you don't want your blog to look like this, find a job that will drive you to the intellectual peak and I assure you that you will feel like the queen of the world.
If you want to keep your intelligence (and your sanity intact), find a post modern Renaissance man and I promise you that you will never get bored.
Smooth Criminal
I just want to make fun of this thing that happened to me yesterday. I received a memo, yes a m-e-m-o, for wasting the "Company's time." Okay, I know, Time is gold.
I know a memo is not a laughing matter, but if you're as crazy as me, you might just dismiss it as a drug prescription. Yes, I must admit I'm guilty. I can't help but access an illegal website because I have a poor social life (Yeah, that's one pathetic truth) and Friendster is my window to the outside world. Huhu.
I'm responsible and I'm no longer a kid who needs some spanking to learn my lesson. I know what I did and I'm accountable to it. There's no one to be blame but me and my stupid weakness. It's just hard to fight the temptation of forbidden websites when you're bored. I'm only human; I'm born with Original Sin. I'm disobedient. If there's one thing I've learned: "Thou shall not access proxy servers." Kailangan ko pa bang dalhin ang mga magulang ko?
I find it strange that I belong to the "Wanted List". Am I really that notorious? I'm not questioning the fact that I access websites because the proof is already right before my eyes, but I just find it strange that my fellow "offenders" belong to the TVJ entourage when I'm not part of the crew. Does that mean that birds of the same feather should flock together?
Are they gonna take our pictures for their rogues gallery of "Model Employees"? I want that Paris Hilton Mugshot pose, because I'm accessing the websites Under the Influence of - boredom.
I also want to make a point regarding the "move", "deletion" thingy. I don't think there's one person in this room who is capable of deliberately deleting a file. I don't think there's one person here who has that kind of hatred, even if he/she wants to take revenge out of old conflicts, I don’t think he/she can do such dirty cowardly act. Hello? We know the consequences of such actions. At ano naman mapapala namin sa pag-gawa ng ganoon? Files are uber sensitive and I think they have a life of their own that they move by themselves. Hindi namin nararamdaman na gumagalaw pala sila.
The Devil's Advocate
I also heard about that "D" and "E" thing. Mother Org-y is checking all the unnecessary files in "Es" and the "Ds" because the folders are suffocating due to limited space. Hey, I know what you're doing guys. I know you read my blog, copy it, then paste in a note pad, and save it to "D" or you'll mapped it out to selected "D"s and let others read it. I know you appreciate my blog and I love you for that but please don't get me in trouble. You can read it all you want but please don't spread my word like it's some kind of gospel truth. You just don't know how many reasons I'm formulating right now if in case she finds out about this.
Here’s the script I have in mind.
Somebody has to play the role of the devil and it just happens to be me. I'm just making an advocate here, but these people have a mind of their own and it’s up to them to get swayed by my ideas. I don’t think you should underestimate their intelligence, you didn’t hire us for nothing right?
Word of the Day
CONSENSUS
Magkaroon naman kayo ng CONSENSUS. What the hell was that?
I was feeling bored and this word wake me up. Buti na lang hindi ako tumawa.
Consensus - means general agreement.
O baka naman Conscientious?
Conscientious - adj. governed by or conforming to the dictates of conscience.
When use in sentence, it will look like this:
She is a conscientious public servant.
Or is it Conscience?
Conscience - n. the sense or consciousness of the moral goodness or blameworthiness of one's own conduct, intentions, or character together with a feeling of obligation to do right or be good.
Example:
I had two slices of bad pizza, went to bed, grew a conscience and wrote a 25-page Manifesto of Doom! - Jerry Maguire.
Or Conscious?
Conscious - perceiving, apprehending, or noticing with a degree of controlled thought or observation.
Example: She's always conscious about her looks.
What are you gonna with all that breast inside your shirt?
I'm not really a fan of call center people because:
1. Every morning they weaken my respiratory system because I have to walk in the clouds of second hand smoke. Aren't they sleepy enough to indulge in chain-smoking rhapsody?
2. They're so arte inside the elevator huh? I wonder what will happen if Ate got stuck in the elevator with those skanks.
3. They didn’t know what wardrobe malfunction means. I was inside the elevator when I notice this girl. She was wearing an immaculately white ensemble and yet she didn't look so virginal. She was not wearing a bra. All she was wearing was a sheer white top (it almost looks like Kleenex) covered by a bolero. But the bolero frequently uncovers her chest area, and all you could see are boobies. I was feeling like Chairwoman La Guardia, because I find her outfit skanky. There are two potential rapists laughing in my back. I know what their thinking: Does this girl sell sex after her shift?
If you happen to spot a number of errors let me know, just don’t bitch slap it to my face because it will really hurt my feelings. I want to know what’s on your mind. Now go and rock the comment box.
I'm sorry about that; just pretend that it's the cough syrup blogging. Anyway, my brain is all black and blue for I did a lot of beating around the bush. (Just re-read at the text above) Yeah, it's one hell of a bloody exercise. I've been warming up my brain cells lately because I need to produce a good copy for this site. Where are my thoughts? My thoughts are scattered like rainshowers...and I'm crazy as the weather.
This is what happens when you work in the business that capitalizes on the laziness of teenage American kids. I wonder if there are task codes assigned for plagiarizing, editorializing, and bastardizing. It’s a shame but I think I'm beginning to be good at it. I deserve a promotion! But putting all my angst aside, I must admit that I like this more than the other projects on the row, because this thing makes me do the thing that I love most - writing. Oh look there goes the smirk again. I think I better have a new nickname - SMIRKFETTE. Yeah, derived from that bluish cartoon character named Smurfette. Smirkfette...it doesn't sound so nice.
Anyway, I won't blame you if you think this blog is going nowhere. You can close this window now. My bad, I'm sorry. But if you want some scoop regarding my so-called boring life, then just carry on.
Wild thing, you make my heart sing. (Nah-nah-nah-nana) You make everything groov-ey.
Wait, my estrogen level is going up and I now I feel horny for words.
A friend told me that a man with a vault of ideas is orgasmic.
Hmmm. No, you're not smelling sex and candy here. I came across a tagline that somehow justifies the statement: Isipin ang malalim na kahulugan ng pagtatalik ng mga kaisipan at pagniniig ng mga kaalaman. Ooooh. That sounds almost orgasmic, it kinda turns me on. Whacked! I know people are laughing right now because they can't imagine me writing this kind of stuff. Haha. Anyway, I get it. We all need something intellectually stimulating to pump up our sex appeal. Hey, it's been a long time since someone told me that I'm intellectually sexy. You can call me Yabang, but I won't take it back for that comment came from a girl (and she's not a dyke). What's happening to me? Why am I becoming an airhead? Does it mean that this job is stripping away all the sexiness (kapal!) in me and all I've got to cover up are two dowdy uniforms? For the love of fashion! With all of these issues residing in me, I wonder if there's gonna be a guy out there, a guy who can nail a thought-provoking conversation, and who will be interested to date a girl like me. I've been looking for him far and wide. Ooops, there he goes. The guy with a hot mind.
Where?
Yung dumaan.
Me and my friends are talking about him. Did he hear what I've said? No, because he's handicapped. He's deaf, mute and insensitive. He's also blind, but he stares at me. Right, what the hell does that mean? He's looking at me but I don't know if he sees me. If he only knew that it's not only glances that he stole from me, he also took away my heart. I hate to admit it but I think I'm crazy over a guy who's in love with somebody else. It kinda hurts but whatever makes him happy. What did I see in him? I don't know but I think I have fallen in love with his mind. I think these lines from a Depeche Mode song was made for him.
He will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live
in And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
He'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact he'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
He will understand me.
If there’s one thing I want to say to him, it’s going to be this: I hope you won't put all the weight of the world on your shoulders, you’re not a god to make all things new.
How do I love thee?
Damn if I do, damn if I don't.
Maybe I should stop looking for the one who was not really there. Maybe I should not neglect the one who was there all along. Maybe I should stop comparing him to somebody else. Someday I will come around.
If you don't want your blog to look like this, find a job that will drive you to the intellectual peak and I assure you that you will feel like the queen of the world.
If you want to keep your intelligence (and your sanity intact), find a post modern Renaissance man and I promise you that you will never get bored.
Smooth Criminal
I just want to make fun of this thing that happened to me yesterday. I received a memo, yes a m-e-m-o, for wasting the "Company's time." Okay, I know, Time is gold.
I know a memo is not a laughing matter, but if you're as crazy as me, you might just dismiss it as a drug prescription. Yes, I must admit I'm guilty. I can't help but access an illegal website because I have a poor social life (Yeah, that's one pathetic truth) and Friendster is my window to the outside world. Huhu.
I'm responsible and I'm no longer a kid who needs some spanking to learn my lesson. I know what I did and I'm accountable to it. There's no one to be blame but me and my stupid weakness. It's just hard to fight the temptation of forbidden websites when you're bored. I'm only human; I'm born with Original Sin. I'm disobedient. If there's one thing I've learned: "Thou shall not access proxy servers." Kailangan ko pa bang dalhin ang mga magulang ko?
I find it strange that I belong to the "Wanted List". Am I really that notorious? I'm not questioning the fact that I access websites because the proof is already right before my eyes, but I just find it strange that my fellow "offenders" belong to the TVJ entourage when I'm not part of the crew. Does that mean that birds of the same feather should flock together?
Are they gonna take our pictures for their rogues gallery of "Model Employees"? I want that Paris Hilton Mugshot pose, because I'm accessing the websites Under the Influence of - boredom.
I also want to make a point regarding the "move", "deletion" thingy. I don't think there's one person in this room who is capable of deliberately deleting a file. I don't think there's one person here who has that kind of hatred, even if he/she wants to take revenge out of old conflicts, I don’t think he/she can do such dirty cowardly act. Hello? We know the consequences of such actions. At ano naman mapapala namin sa pag-gawa ng ganoon? Files are uber sensitive and I think they have a life of their own that they move by themselves. Hindi namin nararamdaman na gumagalaw pala sila.
The Devil's Advocate
I also heard about that "D" and "E" thing. Mother Org-y is checking all the unnecessary files in "Es" and the "Ds" because the folders are suffocating due to limited space. Hey, I know what you're doing guys. I know you read my blog, copy it, then paste in a note pad, and save it to "D" or you'll mapped it out to selected "D"s and let others read it. I know you appreciate my blog and I love you for that but please don't get me in trouble. You can read it all you want but please don't spread my word like it's some kind of gospel truth. You just don't know how many reasons I'm formulating right now if in case she finds out about this.
Here’s the script I have in mind.
Somebody has to play the role of the devil and it just happens to be me. I'm just making an advocate here, but these people have a mind of their own and it’s up to them to get swayed by my ideas. I don’t think you should underestimate their intelligence, you didn’t hire us for nothing right?
Word of the Day
CONSENSUS
Magkaroon naman kayo ng CONSENSUS. What the hell was that?
I was feeling bored and this word wake me up. Buti na lang hindi ako tumawa.
Consensus - means general agreement.
O baka naman Conscientious?
Conscientious - adj. governed by or conforming to the dictates of conscience.
When use in sentence, it will look like this:
She is a conscientious public servant.
Or is it Conscience?
Conscience - n. the sense or consciousness of the moral goodness or blameworthiness of one's own conduct, intentions, or character together with a feeling of obligation to do right or be good.
Example:
I had two slices of bad pizza, went to bed, grew a conscience and wrote a 25-page Manifesto of Doom! - Jerry Maguire.
Or Conscious?
Conscious - perceiving, apprehending, or noticing with a degree of controlled thought or observation.
Example: She's always conscious about her looks.
What are you gonna with all that breast inside your shirt?
I'm not really a fan of call center people because:
1. Every morning they weaken my respiratory system because I have to walk in the clouds of second hand smoke. Aren't they sleepy enough to indulge in chain-smoking rhapsody?
2. They're so arte inside the elevator huh? I wonder what will happen if Ate got stuck in the elevator with those skanks.
3. They didn’t know what wardrobe malfunction means. I was inside the elevator when I notice this girl. She was wearing an immaculately white ensemble and yet she didn't look so virginal. She was not wearing a bra. All she was wearing was a sheer white top (it almost looks like Kleenex) covered by a bolero. But the bolero frequently uncovers her chest area, and all you could see are boobies. I was feeling like Chairwoman La Guardia, because I find her outfit skanky. There are two potential rapists laughing in my back. I know what their thinking: Does this girl sell sex after her shift?
If you happen to spot a number of errors let me know, just don’t bitch slap it to my face because it will really hurt my feelings. I want to know what’s on your mind. Now go and rock the comment box.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
He had a "Crush" on Fall Out Girl and all He got was a Stupid Blog Written About Him
Maria Apolinaria Magbanua is my new hero. She fights for her man with love and courage. Mabuhay! Yeah, I know I'm such a chicken. What happened to me?
Apolinaria told me: "Why are you raising the white flag? Why give up when you're not even trying?"
After a screwed up "MU Relationship," I learned not to give so much emotion on something I'm not sure of. I don't want to be the first to say "I love you." I said it twice to the same guy and I don't want to be the first to say it again, not on the same guy, not on any other guy.
Just so you know, I didn't say it the cheap way. I will not tell the first time I said I love him, I was too young then and I almost forgot all the details so I'll just tell the second and hopefully, the last time.
We've known each other for years, we had been acting like we're "us" but actually we're not, I got sick of it so I asked for the real score.
I found all the answers. He said that he love me very much but he wasn't ready to commit to another relationship.
That sucks. I felt dumped.
I felt a sigh of relief that I said what I want to say but I didn't expect it to happen that way. I was willing to wait until he's ready. Shit, I was a love fool. Everything felt like a mushy mallow Manilow song, we had the right love at the wrong time.
I haven't heard from him since.
I'm not bitter about it, it's just hard to remember all those things because I've buried it all. I just want to say the reason why I don't want to take chances...again. I will not take risk for the love of one's self. I don't want to get hurt again.
What if Mr. Brightside read this? I don't think so, he's too damn gorgeous to read a blog, but just in case...
Hey past is past. I guess I was wrong, I'm not the girl for you Mr. Brightside.
I realized that in love, you have to take risks. You can spit it all out or you can keep it to yourself. Guys really send a lot of messages and you don't know if you got it good or bad. It's so hard to read between the lines. There are guys who would promise you the moon and the stars and the rest of the solar system, while there are guys who can't give you a single promise. There are guys who will sweep you off your feet because they're Presko, while there are guys who will woo you through the old fashioned eye contact courtship. There are guys who talk a lot but don't mean what they say while there are some who got a lot of sweet things to tell but they do not have the balls to scream it out. Oh men!
It always doesn't end well when I find a potential beau. The guy just leaves, or the feeling leaves but the only things that stay with me will always consist of a blog, a poem or a song inspired by him. Yeah, I make them my muse.
The thought of being alone frequently creeps in whenever I find myself in hopeless romantic mood. Where am I heading? Is it to Single Blessedness Monastery or to Wisteria Spinsterville? Am I Single in the City? Or a Desperate Spinster? Damn it, I'm too young to worry about this.
So I have this crush, and people want to know who the heaven he is. (I've been saying hell a lot, so better make things heavenly) I don't know if he's an angel. People, you don't know him. Don't even ask, I will not say who he is. Let's just keep him a mystery shall we? Please, for the love of Jel who writes about blogs that you want to read when you're bored.
He's just a line from an Audioslave song...he's like a stone. I don't know if he feels something about me, but I can see a sign. A sign lang talaga kasi hindi masyadong halata at hindi madami. I think it's too early to say, I don't want to assume that there is such a thing. I'm doing myself a favor by not indulging into this and I sometimes wish it will go away.
So what should I do?
I'm not unaffected.
And who should I be?
I'm not unaffected.
What if the "crush" read this blog? Nah, that's impossible, he's such a snooty little bling head. He's too smart for this. He won't find this educational. But in case he finds himself lost in this site...
Are you an angel?
Friday, June 1, 2007
Meow, meow
Tiger, our very much horny cat, fathered four monstrous kitten. Yeah for the Nth time, he once again contributed to the growing feline population. Iniisip siguro ng pusang 'to na sa bawat pusang nasasagasaan at namamatay, apat na kuting ang dapat na ipangnganak. I don't know why the hell this cat is still ACTIVE and ALIVE. I mean he's old like the Arthro Man. Ano kayang sikreto nya? Arthro? Yung nine lives kaya?
This Cat...
...always gets himself mobbed (maybe he's gangster). There were a lot of times when he would come home bloodied and covered with mud. He looked like he was kuyog to death, and my ever compassionate mother would play Mother Theresa and nurse him back to health. Pero wala paring kadala-dala, matapos gumaling, puro sugat na naman. Pusakal talaga. He's such a troublemaker.
...makes a lot of noise when he's having sex. He has this ritual of jumping from one roof to another (like a human being who jumps from one bed to another) and makes these nasty sexual sounds that could wake up the whole neighborhood. I don't know what animalistic sex appeal that this cat has, I mean he's old and dirty (not to mention smelly), but he seems to get a lot of lovin' from pussy cat sluts. Hey Animal Planet, would you be interested to cast this being as your new porn star?
...doesn't know anything about the Trust Family Program, all he knows about is mating season. The only good thing about Tiger is that he didn't eat his offsprings. Animals do that right? They eat their young. Forgive me for saying this, but sometimes I wish he did. His babies are freaking me out. Yesterday, they chase me like demons and almost press their claws on my skin. I promise, I didn't do anything. Mama told me that the kittens might be thinking that I am their master. Sorry kitties, but you can't count on my parenting skills, because I can't even give Otaro a bath. He's so matapang kasi. Who's Otaro? He's my eight year old baby dog.
Anne, if you're reading this please adopt the Hello Kitties before I donate them to the Siopao-wan. (Just kidding about the siopao-wan) I know that you love cats and you know that I don't. Sige na, ampunin mo na para may kalaro si Hamlet. Hamlet na pala siya ngayon, diba dati siya si Narda. Ano??? Lalake pala siya.
I'm not cruel to animals. Readers of the other blog knows how much I mourned when my dog Kulet died. I cried almost every hour, as if there was no tomorrow. Isipin nyo na lang hindi naman lalake yun, pero iniyakan ko pa rin. Ay mali, lalake pala yun pero hindi naman siya tao. Ayan na miss ko tuloy. Hi Kulet, musta naman diyan sa heaven?
This Cat...
...always gets himself mobbed (maybe he's gangster). There were a lot of times when he would come home bloodied and covered with mud. He looked like he was kuyog to death, and my ever compassionate mother would play Mother Theresa and nurse him back to health. Pero wala paring kadala-dala, matapos gumaling, puro sugat na naman. Pusakal talaga. He's such a troublemaker.
...makes a lot of noise when he's having sex. He has this ritual of jumping from one roof to another (like a human being who jumps from one bed to another) and makes these nasty sexual sounds that could wake up the whole neighborhood. I don't know what animalistic sex appeal that this cat has, I mean he's old and dirty (not to mention smelly), but he seems to get a lot of lovin' from pussy cat sluts. Hey Animal Planet, would you be interested to cast this being as your new porn star?
...doesn't know anything about the Trust Family Program, all he knows about is mating season. The only good thing about Tiger is that he didn't eat his offsprings. Animals do that right? They eat their young. Forgive me for saying this, but sometimes I wish he did. His babies are freaking me out. Yesterday, they chase me like demons and almost press their claws on my skin. I promise, I didn't do anything. Mama told me that the kittens might be thinking that I am their master. Sorry kitties, but you can't count on my parenting skills, because I can't even give Otaro a bath. He's so matapang kasi. Who's Otaro? He's my eight year old baby dog.
Anne, if you're reading this please adopt the Hello Kitties before I donate them to the Siopao-wan. (Just kidding about the siopao-wan) I know that you love cats and you know that I don't. Sige na, ampunin mo na para may kalaro si Hamlet. Hamlet na pala siya ngayon, diba dati siya si Narda. Ano??? Lalake pala siya.
I'm not cruel to animals. Readers of the other blog knows how much I mourned when my dog Kulet died. I cried almost every hour, as if there was no tomorrow. Isipin nyo na lang hindi naman lalake yun, pero iniyakan ko pa rin. Ay mali, lalake pala yun pero hindi naman siya tao. Ayan na miss ko tuloy. Hi Kulet, musta naman diyan sa heaven?
Friday, May 25, 2007
I'll Twist Your Mind to Death
"If I say I love you, right now, will you hold it against me?"
-Peyton to Lucas
I just don't know what to do with myself. How many ungodly 2 a.m. must I stay awake to ransom back my brain? Read: I'm terrible and lately, I am not myself. I woke up this morning and I noticed these dark circles around my eyes. I told the person in the mirror, "Holy bitch, you've got puppy eyes!" Damn it, where's the cucumber,or the concealer? Adik.
What (in the name of vanity) is ugly wrong with me? I applied these stuff around my eyes and yet I still look like a heroin chic. Kate Moss is that you? Whatever. I give up. Maybe I should sport a Goth look tomorrow. Hey, that would do the trick.
Is there a remedy for intellectual constipation, insomia, and infatuation? Tell me quick, for I don't want to look pale and sleepless like The Cure.
Yeah, this is the right spot to lay my bones.
I feel so dead being buried in this bed.
But my mind won't Rest In Pieces.
I better grab this pillow like tombstone in my head.
This is total darkness and yet he's still there.
"I love you Luke, but I've chosen darkness."
- Peyton to Lucas
I give up. I turn the radio on and listen to this song that somehow rock me to sleep.
Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing
Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'cause without love I won't survive.
I guess I should practice some other ways to stay sober. Am I the only one who notice, or am I just hallucinating? Are you just looking because I'm looking, or do you want to look at me anyway? Dude, you're dizzying up the girl.
You're deep like water, I could drown in you. You could lock me in your eyes, you could lose me in the crowd, you could act like you don't care, I'm just gonna play it cool anyway.
I won't waste your time on sweet nothings. It isn't me, because you will hear it straight from me. I won't drop your name, I'll rather twist your mind to death. You will never know it was you, unless you make a move.
Maybe I'll get rid of you. Maybe I'll let you live in me. If this thing is not meant to be, then so be it. It's all right, I'm used to not getting what I want.
"I want all of the same things that you want, I do, and I want them with you."
- Peyton to Lucas
I hope that my brain would be back soon, because I'm already tired of my heart doing all the ticking and the thinking. I guess I can finally breathe and sing this song...
If I don't say this now
I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate
Oh, oh,
Be my baby
Ohhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my baby, I'll look after you
There now, steady love,
so few come and don't go
Will you won't you,
be the one I'll always know
When I'm losing my control,
the city spins around
You're the only one who knows,
you slow it down
Oh, oh
Be my baby
OhhhhhhOh,
ohBe my Baby
I'll look after you
And I'll look after you
It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own
You are so beautiful to me.
*Peyton and Lucas - are fictional characters from One Tree Hill.
**Love Hurts - Incubus, The Light Grenade
***Look after You - The Fray, How to Save a Life
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Of Cradlesnatching, Golddigging and Fucking With Benefits
Weeks ago, I was blown away by a Friendster survey answered by one of my classmates. The question was, "What is your greatest achievement?" And she answered (I think without batting an eyelash), "Orgasm," followed by Hahaha. Oh...Okay. Good answer, it felt like coffee to my brain. After reading the survey, I was tempted to answer it. There was a question regarding one's stand on Friends With Benefits and here's what I've wrote:
Friends With Benefits? As in FWB - Fuck With Benefits.
My whole month of April has been plagued by relationship issues. I think that's the aftermath of turning 23. A number of questions have been raised. "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Why are you not dating?" "Are you even attracted to guys?" If I hear one more question regarding my civil status, I will scream. I don't know why people give a damn on other people's lives when they don't even know what to do with their own.
Maybe it's my generation's fault. Most people my age are getting married, hooking up, sleeping over, making babies, breaking up or *Brooke-ing themselves. And I don't know why the hell they expect me to be one of them.
I guess people who asked me the above questions were just concerned that if I do not act now, I will later find it hard to conceive. Yeah, I know that people my age are freakingly packed with libido and they don't need to remind me that. Oh yes, I'm straight and I'm attracted to McDreamy. I know what I want. Now go Brooke yourselves, and leave me in peace.
Just when I thought that the question and answer portion was over, they went on declaring that if the world is gonna end tomorrow, I'm gonna die a virgin. Virgins go to heaven right? I hope so, because I'm already sick of hell.
I'm blessed with two great friends, let's just call them Demi and Cameron. Yes, they are cradlesnatchers.
Help police, help. Cradlesnatchers, cradlesnatchers!
Oh, knock it off.
They say that if you can't get a guy your age, then go for the younger batch. They say that boys are sweeter than men. Does that sound matronly? Heck, with this salary like ours, we can't really afford to buy boytoys at the mall. Bleak. Anyway, the cradlesnatching approach did not end well for my two friends, so I better not dare to try it out.
My aunt was worried that I'm still unattached at the age of 23 and she said...
Aunt: Anak may irereto ako sa iyo, mabait, mayaman...
Me: ...at madali ba siyang mamamatay, ilang taon na siya?
Aunt: Fifty.
Whoa. What was that all about? I'm not after Golden Boys. I don't need a sugar daddy. I don't think a May-December love affair would work on me. And I'm not a golddigger.
I'm 23 years old, single and available, but not girlfriend material. I have my own weird world and guys don't find it sexy. Aside from worrying of not finding "the one," I am more scared of not getting out of this "relationship." You don't know how many times the old pimp have bruised my ego and you don't know how long I suffered from intellectual constipation. And most of the time, I always found myself singing to the tune of Radiohead's Creep.
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doin' here?I don't belong here.
Rewind to 2005, life's a bitch when you're a fresh grad and you've got nowhere else to go. I could sing Creep until my lungs give up, but I realized that no matter how many times I complain, it still doesn't change the fact that this is my job and I have to fuck it. That sounded like prostitution, erase the F word. I'm being paid to get this job done. I have no choice but to make peace with it because I signed something that resembles a marriage contract (in other words I made a pact with the devil to save myself from poverty). Get the job done like you mean it. Fuck it like it's hot. If you can't do the job out of love, lust or whatever L word you have in mind, just do it out of obligation. Or...you can always file for divorce, I mean resignation, if you can't take it anymore. Now, that's what I call fucking with benefits. Ooops, are there any benefits?
I'm not forcing you to believe what I say. I just hope that the day won't come when I'm gonna be the one who will tell you this, "I told you so!"
Was that Larry Birkhead?
*Brooke yourself - from Brooke Davis of One Tree Hill, it means self-stimulation.
Friends With Benefits? As in FWB - Fuck With Benefits.
My whole month of April has been plagued by relationship issues. I think that's the aftermath of turning 23. A number of questions have been raised. "Do you have a boyfriend?" "Why are you not dating?" "Are you even attracted to guys?" If I hear one more question regarding my civil status, I will scream. I don't know why people give a damn on other people's lives when they don't even know what to do with their own.
Maybe it's my generation's fault. Most people my age are getting married, hooking up, sleeping over, making babies, breaking up or *Brooke-ing themselves. And I don't know why the hell they expect me to be one of them.
I guess people who asked me the above questions were just concerned that if I do not act now, I will later find it hard to conceive. Yeah, I know that people my age are freakingly packed with libido and they don't need to remind me that. Oh yes, I'm straight and I'm attracted to McDreamy. I know what I want. Now go Brooke yourselves, and leave me in peace.
Just when I thought that the question and answer portion was over, they went on declaring that if the world is gonna end tomorrow, I'm gonna die a virgin. Virgins go to heaven right? I hope so, because I'm already sick of hell.
I'm blessed with two great friends, let's just call them Demi and Cameron. Yes, they are cradlesnatchers.
Help police, help. Cradlesnatchers, cradlesnatchers!
Oh, knock it off.
They say that if you can't get a guy your age, then go for the younger batch. They say that boys are sweeter than men. Does that sound matronly? Heck, with this salary like ours, we can't really afford to buy boytoys at the mall. Bleak. Anyway, the cradlesnatching approach did not end well for my two friends, so I better not dare to try it out.
My aunt was worried that I'm still unattached at the age of 23 and she said...
Aunt: Anak may irereto ako sa iyo, mabait, mayaman...
Me: ...at madali ba siyang mamamatay, ilang taon na siya?
Aunt: Fifty.
Whoa. What was that all about? I'm not after Golden Boys. I don't need a sugar daddy. I don't think a May-December love affair would work on me. And I'm not a golddigger.
I'm 23 years old, single and available, but not girlfriend material. I have my own weird world and guys don't find it sexy. Aside from worrying of not finding "the one," I am more scared of not getting out of this "relationship." You don't know how many times the old pimp have bruised my ego and you don't know how long I suffered from intellectual constipation. And most of the time, I always found myself singing to the tune of Radiohead's Creep.
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doin' here?I don't belong here.
Rewind to 2005, life's a bitch when you're a fresh grad and you've got nowhere else to go. I could sing Creep until my lungs give up, but I realized that no matter how many times I complain, it still doesn't change the fact that this is my job and I have to fuck it. That sounded like prostitution, erase the F word. I'm being paid to get this job done. I have no choice but to make peace with it because I signed something that resembles a marriage contract (in other words I made a pact with the devil to save myself from poverty). Get the job done like you mean it. Fuck it like it's hot. If you can't do the job out of love, lust or whatever L word you have in mind, just do it out of obligation. Or...you can always file for divorce, I mean resignation, if you can't take it anymore. Now, that's what I call fucking with benefits. Ooops, are there any benefits?
I'm not forcing you to believe what I say. I just hope that the day won't come when I'm gonna be the one who will tell you this, "I told you so!"
Was that Larry Birkhead?
*Brooke yourself - from Brooke Davis of One Tree Hill, it means self-stimulation.
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